A DINKY Gen Xer's malaise or Shane's an S.O.B
Over the last few weeks people around work have been asking me to contribute to the Capstrat blog. I was considering several topics to wax intellectually about, but none of those topics seemed as immediate, and important as the inevitability of my growing older.
All of which became clearer to me after my wife and I recently threw a party. For this party my wife and I sent out an e-vite unfortunately we forgot to mention "no kids". Hmm.. no kids. Should we even have say that on the e-vite? Most of our friends are young, recently married with no kids, so the thought never crossed our mind. We knew that a few of our friends had some little ones, but we assumed they wouldn't bring them to a party. We were ginormously mistaken.
Next thing we know we have two kids hanging out at our house. At what point in peoples lives does it become acceptable to bring their tiny baby into a world of alcoholic debauchery and finger foods? I guess the point at which they have babies. Do these people not realize the number #1 killer of parties is... wait for it... KIDS!
Cops come in a close second, but they aren't as fragile, and they can hit harder than babies.
I know I should be more empathetic. One day I'll be that guy who can't find a sitter, and still wants to fit in and throw down with his peeps. But right now I'm not, and I don't like being surprised right before a party and have to throw out all my dead baby jokes, just because there was a last minute audience change. I mean new material doesn't write itself. Yes I know I'm a heartless S.O.B, and I'll remain that way until I have kids. Once that happens, I'll bring my glorious bundle of joy to parties and get mad at anyone who makes jokes about underprivileged orphans trapped in old refrigerators. So to the three of you that will read this. How do I deal with the inevitability of my youths demise?
Should I fight it until the very end, or shall I accept the fact that my role as a pseudo hipster party animal is now over?
All Articles
From the kids' perspective: "These old people are lame!"
This is hilarious because my wife and I have encountered the same thing. Even though we do not have kids we have learned that you must indicated if kids are welcome or not. Otherwise you'll find yourself inundated by ankle biters. We threw a housewarming party last year, the party started in the mid-afternoon and we specifically put "kids welcome" on the invite. That worked out well because people knew what to expect. Next time you might want to be put "children under the age of 15 will be served for dinner" just to be sure.
Oh Shane, you poor thing. NO, your life as a party animal is NOT over. And when you do have kids, I'll keep them for you every now and again so you can be a wild child. That is, only if said keeping does not interfere with my single and even wilder lifestyle. :) Seriously though, this is a good reminder to those of us contemplating a party in the near future.
It's never cool for parents to bring unwelcome kids "into a world of alcoholic debauchery" . Responsible parents should realize that parties that start after 8PM (or thrown by Shane) are most likely not kid friendly (or you should at least ask).
But don't mistake me. I'm not saying that exposing kids to adult life is wrong. My point is that it's time your friends learn that their tiny bundles of joy are a joy kill for others, and that it's rude to impose kids at parties where they are not welcome.
Welcome to adulthood Shane. You've entered the phase of your life where you need to start telling your friends "no kids."
Post a comment
We look forward to hearing what you have to say. Before joining the conversation, please take a moment to review our comment policy.