Field Notes Inside an Integrated Communications Agency

AnOpen Letter to Big-Time Television Advertisers

Quitthe willy-nilly desecration of popular songs. In just one Monday night ofcouldn’t-care-less-to-see TV, I was hustled down musical memory lane byfoolhardy pitchmen. They hocked all grades of things and tried to erase mysentimental memories in the process. Now, don’t get me wrong, I realizefamiliarity of a great song means bank to an advertiser. Audio branding cancreate a powerful memory from the sense of sound. But isn’t it stronger if theconceptual meaning of a song has more product relevance than just the passingchorus or familiar tune? After all, when taken purely at surface level, thewords of a familiar chorus may have zip to do with the artist’s true meaning(Hello...”Puff the Magic Dragon”). It’s clear big-spending advertisers don’tagree.

PizzaHut uses the Bee Gees’ 1977 chart topper “How Deep is Your Love” to schlepdeep-dish pizza. Get it? DEEP DISH! How DEEP is your love? Whoa, slow downgeniuses.

Theabuse doesn’t stop with only one pizza chain. Rival Papa John’s is currentlyusing The J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold.” Oddly, it’s only used as aninstrumental. With no lyrics to tell the story of a man shocked to discover hischildhood sweetheart is now a centerfold, will people born after 1981 get theclever tie-in? Oh, There’s a clever tie-in? Wait for it...mock photos flash tochange scenes of...wait for it again...pizza! Get it? Pictures? Centerfold?Goodness! These people deserve a Cannes Lion.

Anothercommercial break brings more abuse. From my kitchen, I heard the chorus of thelittle known 1979 Joe Jackson tune, "One More Time." I immediately thought backto learning guitar riffs and how cool Jackson sounded even though he waspleading with an unrequited love to say, one more time, she doesn’t love him. Iwalk into my living room to see that my sweet memory is now pitching thelimited-time return of Taco Bell’s Gordita! Sad. Very sad. I nearly dropped myChalupa.

TacoBell is also the most recent advertiser to use Devo’s “Whip It”–a song sowidely licensed for products like Pringles and Twix to Gateway Computers,Donkey Konga and Swiffer; it’s brilliant. The new wave wunderkinds worked sohard to package themselves with irony and self-mock that the song alwaysscores. Who would know if it didn’t? Some interpret the song as a paean tomasturbation and sadomasochism or a reference to inhaling nitrous oxide.Furthering the irreverence, Devo leader Mark Mothersbaugh says it’s about JimmyCarter. Advertising Age reported Devo agreed to re-record “Whip It” for Swifferand change lyrics to "Swiff it Good!" because it was so absurd. Somehow Ibelieve Mothersbaugh’s retooled post punk classic about an average Joe’s needto buckle up and overcome adversity was always part of their biggermoney-making scheme. He’s that dang smart.

Thenthere’s Nice ‘n Easy singing the three word virtues of hair dye with disco’slove fest “(Got) To Be Real”, Viagra sacrificing Elvis’ classic with "VivaViagra" and a bazillion Alltel ads proclaiming "Come And Get Your Love." That1974 one hit wonder from Redbone was this music nerd’s first K-Tel record.

SoI wonder, why is this so out of control? Are advertisers so apathetic thatcreative dribble sounds like Nietzsche? Are creative teams so lazy they need toborrow others’ creative equity? Are artists less concerned with integrity inlieu of "trying to expand their audience?"

Let’sface it. This musicidal revolution started in 1987 with...well..."Revolution." The Beatles’ song made this Nike commercial effective and brilliant because itwas so wrong and unexpected—just like the song. Paying a record (at the time)$250,000 to Capitol Records and Michael Jackson, Nike was able to be the firstto license an actual Beatles recording. Most will remember it caused a hugebacklash. Fans felt John Lennon would have objected, especially due to thecontroversy over Nike’s sweatshops. Paul McCartney protested, "Songs like‘Revolution’ don’t mean a pair of sneakers, they mean revolution." A tangle oflawsuits ensued.

Nikediscontinued the "Revolution" ads after a year. Four years later Yoko Ono gavepermission to use Lennon’s "Instant Karma" in another Nike ad. Karma indeed.

Justwhen I thought my favorite artists had collapsed dead at the feet of advertisinggods, a lightening bolt of irony bursts through my TV. Royal Caribbean CruiseLine pounds out Iggy Pop’s 1977 hard charging, snarky "Lust For Life." Eventhough it’s not Iggy singing and lyrics were sanitized to be more cruise-shipfriendly, the ode to drug culture bleats with the original ferocity of asmack-addled street junkie at the absolute depths of life. Screwing up everystep of the way. Iggy Pop’s hard living, gritty persona and strutting, sexualmachismo pound through defiant and strong. I recall the freedom and energy Ifelt when I first heard this song. I smirk thinking of the irony. I leap to myfeet, pump my fist and growl, "Join me for shuffleboard and Mai-Tais on theLido deck!"

Well,that’s like hypnotizing chickens.